Your Child Is Attached To You

In response to a recent quote from this blog, it was brought to our attention that it is known what our children need and that Dr. Gabor Mate, physician, best-selling author, renowned thinker and public speaker, formed solutions based on his experience, insight, case histories, and scientific research. The specific link that was shared is entitled, “Hold On To Your Kids” which is a YouTube video of Gabor Mate presenting his solutions within an hour and sixteen minute lecture.

I was able to watch 24 minutes of the video before determining that I had more effective things I could be doing with my time.

First, Dr. Mate shares some insight within communicating to his audience that ‘children speak a different language’ and that this language is expressed through their behavioral, physical, and emotional symptoms. In order to get a complete understanding of what he is saying, he suggested that the audience purchase his book, ‘When The Body Says No’. So, the starting point was clear: This is Dr. Gabor Mate, he’s very well educated, done some cool stuff and is here to sell me a book about it.

Same old stuff. And it occurred to me that this is a precise example of what I was speaking about in the blog prior to this one, No Such Thing As A Perfect Parent when making this point for an Equal Money System: An Equal Money System takes profit out of the problem so that we can get into what’s real and not what’s going to sell books, sell seminars, or make someone famous.

Within the video, Gabor Mate makes it clear, within an uncomfortable yet faked shameless laughter, that his information is for sale.

I did not stop watching here. I wanted to give Dr. Mate and the person who shared the link to Dr. Mate a ‘fair’ amount of my time. After all, if this is what I’ve been looking for and the answer to my question of how we can best support our children, then this is something that I want to learn.

The lecture continued by telling us that our children form’ attachments’ to us and that it’s best to raise a child to form several ‘attachments’ in the event that the child lose a parent and/or ‘attachment’. He said that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and made a reference to the ‘tribes in Africa’.

My child is attached to me. Seriously, no kidding. I’ve got the bruises to prove it. And why is it that it always comes back to the ‘tribes in Africa’? Why is it that we use that as an example for how everything is supposed to work in the world? How’s it working out for those tribes over in Africa? Are things going AWESOME for them? Are they raising willful, aware, and responsible beings that are changing the world as a reflection of themselves? Nope. Most of them do not have effective shelter and clothes and they are STARVING to DEATH. It makes sense that if I or my child were struggling to hold onto this life while we are lying in the dirt within dehydration and starvation, that finding and/or being a living solution for the point of effective parenting would not be within my current ability nor consideration.

Let’s consider that there are ‘tribes in Africa’ that are able to sustain themselves and raise their children to be effective beings in their isolated communities. Why aren’t they here, equal with us, within the rest of the world and sharing with us what they have proven ‘works’? Separation and judgement. Those isolated tribes don’t want anything to do with our ‘greedy, exploitative’ behavior and we see ourselves as ‘better’ and ‘civilized’.

When we judge and separate, we lose so much. If we hadn’t allowed ourselves to participate within judgement within seeing ourselves as different, better, or more special than others outside of ourselves, then we would not be here, miserable and struggling to get through our lives. Every and all things here would be provided for and we would have had an opportunity, from the very beginning, to discover ways to better support ourselves, our children, and our world.

We may have even solved the problem of ‘attachment’. And yes, I see ‘attachment’ as a problem as it locks us into a ‘life’ of slavery and/or limitation because of the fear and guilt we experience while within, having, and maintaining that attachment. The abuse that we put ourselves and others through because this program of attachment is extensive. Let’s look at ways of stopping this so that we can enjoy our lives on this planet and with our children, for real and not based on the survival of our attachments or what’s ‘special’ to us.

As for Dr. Mate’s books, lectures, and videos – I’m not spending a dime nor my time within the nurturing of his pocket nor beliefs. Perhaps I will reconsider if he were to come to my home and offer to practically live up to his word by babysitting H for a couple of hours so that I can go watch a movie with my husband.

Be ‘The Tribe’, support an Equal Money System.

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2 thoughts on “Your Child Is Attached To You

  1. Of course our children are attached to us, parents – we are their means of survival in this world. Children are quite vulnerable in our society, because of having no power what so ever: they have no MONEY. Children have to always do what adults tell them – out of survival.

    This attachment is not a healthy one. Children are not free to express themselves unconditionally and these restrictions because of survival start at a very young age already. I think the same is happening all over the world, also in the tribes this dr. Mate is mentioning.

    And we parents use the fear of survival as power over our kids – visibly or invisibly. As have been done to us, parents in childhood also.

    This is the circle we must step out and establish a whole new way of parenting.
    I’m with you in this journey :)
    thanks.

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