This blog is Part 1 of self-correction and self-commitment for self-forgiveness on Day 16, I Will Take Everything Away
When and as I see myself attempting to control a child’s behavior by any means necessary, including threatening to take away the things that the child values and/or sees as important, I stop and breath. I realize that I am imposing my own acceptances and allowances, as a child and as a parent, on to this other child. I realize that I am forcing the child to conform to my beliefs, imaginations, and what I have allowed to ‘make sense’ in my mind. I also realize that I am rushing through and/or taking the easy way out of a situation that requires my attention and parental direction.
I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to attempt to control a child’s behavior with threatening to take away the things that the child values and/or sees as important by instead breathing, not allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction, and directing the child to also breath, to understand the behavior and how the behavior may not be best, to work out solutions together that benefit everyone, come to an agreement on a solution, and then implement this solution.
When and as I see myself showing a child how to make a relationship connection to an object so that object becomes a source of comfort and happiness for the child, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that it is best to not encourage a child to create a relationship connection to an object – and it’s certainly not best to teach a child that something outside of themselves will make them happy and comforted. What is best, however, is to teach a child to not require anything outside of themselves for happiness and comfort – and in doing so, I will teach the child self-support and assist them to not be influenced emotionally when/as/if there is a threat that the child’s objects will be taken away, the object breaks, or the object is worn out and unusable.
I commit myself to showing children that an object is simply an object that is here to be utilized for a specific purpose – if it’s a toy we play with it, if it’s a TV we watch it, if it’s a book we read it, if it’s a chair we sit in it, if it’s a cup we drink from it. Within this, I commit myself to stand as an example by not reacting when an object I use is removed, breaks, and/or is worn-out/unusable – where, I breath and work out a plan to replace the object.
When and as I see myself considering acting in a way that would deliberately deprive a child of something that they value, I stop, I breath, and I do not go there. Instead, I allow myself to use my imagination to place myself in the shoes of the child and ask myself: How do I experience myself when and as someone acts in a way that deliberately deprives me of something that I have placed value, is supportive for me and/or is something that I simply enjoy having? As an adult, what do I see when myself or another is deliberately controlled by deprivation?
I commit myself to stop deliberately depriving children of something they value as to control the child by reminding myself that this enslaves a child and the product of this is a child that accepts enslavement and will grow into an adult that will be enslaved, enslaves others, and teaches their children how to enslave.