Does Spanking Result In Respect? – Day 19

Tonight, this photo appeared in my Facebook feed:

1,433,614 people like this.
457,953 shares

Obviously, this statement is a lie – and as with the majority of lies, it is a something that we tell ourselves to feel better about ourselves and something that we’re doing because we are actually aware that we are not responding in the best way.  In this case, the obvious truth is that spanking does not result in a child having respect for others – no, spanking results in a child fearing and being angry with themselves and others.  To prove this, all that one has to do is to go back to when your parents spanked you or if you have forgotten, place yourself in the shoes of the child.  Are you thinking about how you’ve just learned a lesson in Respect? Highly unlikely.

How are you feeling? Shocked? Confused? Dis-empowered? Violated? Scared? Distrustful? Angry?

How many parents stop, ask themselves WHY the child apparently has behavioral and psychological conditions?  Why is the child being accused of being a bully?  Why is the child anxious? Why does the child not listen and follow the parent’s direction? Why does the parent have to coax, plead, beg, yell, threaten and attempt all sorts of ‘tricks’ to get the child moving? Why does the child cry and often scream like they are in actual physical pain?

Why do parents continue to spank the child despite the fact that the child is showing over-and-over-and-over again that the what the parent  thought – what the parent worked out in their mind as the desired result – does not actually work?

And c’mon – spanking didn’t work on us either.  Look around you – look at all the people in this world – the majority of these people were spanked by their parents.  There is no respect here and it’s clear why: we were never taught Self-Respect. How can we respect others if we do not respect ourselves? The reality is that we’ve taught children fear, anger, and distrust – so, within this, the child becomes an adult with fear, anger, and distrust for others and themselves.  Just like us.

Parent or not, there is another pressing point which is the point of consequence.  When messages like this are shared it gives each other the permission to harm a child.  Yes, the message may have been about an act of ‘spanking’ and not all-out-beating, however, out of the 1,433,614 people that liked this, how many do we actually think are not harming nor have the potential of harming a child?  Will they see this message as the ‘go-ahead’?  What about the people that didn’t hit the ‘like’ button when the message was shared 457,953 times?  Who saw that?  What kind of mind is reading that?  Can we say with 100% certainty that a child is not going to be harmed because an adult got it in their mind that spanking a child is okay and teaches respect?  What if the spanking gets out of hand and the adult takes it further to the point of bruises, breaks, hospitalization, or even death?  What if the child does not show respect and the adult hits harder?  I mean, this stuff is really happening in this world and we cannot say, “It’s not my problem.” Because it is. We accepted it, we allowed it, this is our home, these are the people that we share our home with, and this is the home that our children are inheriting.  Why would we NOT make this our problem?

We tend to think that this is about us and only about us when it’s really not.  It’s about all of us and we must consider our responsibility to each other and assist and support each other to develop Self-Respect.  When we no longer accept and allow ourselves to be violated – in any way, including spanking – then we will no longer accept and allow the child or anyone else to be violated.  That’s REAL RESPECT.

On Guardian Angels

After I wrote my Journey to Life blog last night, I decided to go to the store.  As I pulled out of my driveway in my car, I saw someone from the corner of my view that I almost ran into.   When I looked at the person, they were pale, there were dark circles around the eyes and the face was covered with blood and mud.  My body literally jumped away from what I saw and I gasped and yelled, “WHAT THE F?!?!”  It was Christmas … not Halloween … wtf was going on here? In my mind, I was going through all of the possibilities of what was happening in that moment… and the person did not look at me but instead just kept walking with a blank stare … holy shit … 2012 … end of the world … is the Zombie Apocalypse real??

In shock, I drove a little ways down the road and saw a car flipped over on it’s hood in the ditch – the headlights were on and this persons coat or something was on the ground.  I immediately turned around to pick-up this person.  Within me there was a voice of worry, “What if this person is insane?  I mean, gauging by the condition of this world and kinda seeing where it’s going, bad things could happen.  What if they think that -I’m- the insane one coming to abduct them?” Still, for me there was no choice.  I guided this person into my car, talked with them, and we decided to drive them to their friend’s house around the corner.  I stayed with this person until they were safe and all was cool and then I left.  While I was at the store, I told the cashier about the experience that I had on the way to the store and this person’s reply was, “You’re an angel.”

It was interesting that the Angel point came up because I had just read some articles on Angels and Guardian Angels in an e-mail that was shared.  In the articles the author spoke about the percentages of people in this world that believe that they are being watched over by Angels and made reference to the stories of these people that had personal experiences with being saved by these heavenly creatures that we cannot see.   Here are a few quotes from these articles:

“31 per cent of Britons said they believed in angels and this level is even higher among women at 41 per cent. In the U.S., 80 per cent of people profess a belief in angels”

“U.S. author Doreen Virtue has a doctorate in psychology and has written 20 books about angels. ‘Everyone has a guardian angel,’ she says. ‘They stay with you from birth, making sure you are safe and guided always. I truly believe angels can help us heal.'”

“Lorna explains that people see them in different ways – some, like her, clearly see the face and shape of them while others, like Jayne, see them as beams of light or clouds. ‘No two are alike. They change their appearance and are neither male nor female,’ says Lorna.”

‘They don’t have faces or take human forms and their “voices” aren’t audible, but I can still communicate with them and get a sense of how they are feeling based on the colour of their light,’ she says.

“The Angel of the North is as tall as four double decker buses and its wingspan is as big as that of a jumbo jet.”

These are just a few – the beliefs, myths, and individual ideas of Angels and what they look like goes on and on.  My question within this is: If everyone has a guardian angel that keeps us safe, guided always, and can help us heal, then …

… where is this child’s Guardian Angel?

I have much more to write about this subject and will continue.

The Wellchild Visit

This past week, my 5-year-old son went to the doctor’s office for his ‘Wellchild Visit’.  When we got in the room, they gave us a book – which must be a requirement for our state because each time we have one of these ‘Wellchild Visits’, they hand us a book.

During this visit, our medical care-giver tested my child to make certain that he had ‘basic skills’ for his specific age group such as counting to 10, color recognition, recitation of ABC’s, familiarity with brushing teeth, etc.  Also, at this ‘visit’, they give the child a series of vaccinations.  My child did fine up until the mention of getting ‘shots’ and then he panicked.

Wellchild Visit Vaccine Schedule

First, he worked on reasoning with us adults as he said, “Nah.  I don’t need any shots today.  I’m fine.”  When we told him that the vaccinations were a way of protecting him from diseases in the world that could make him sick or harm him, he said, “I don’t need to worry about that.”

And after our medical care-giver left the room, my son said, “C’mon, mom.  Let’s go.  We’re leaving.”  I explained that we’d be staying and that it was best if we get this done now, be done with it, move on with our day, and go on an adventure to the toy store.  He accepted this.

So, we waited for the nurses to come into the room and give my son his vaccinations. And waited.  And waited. AND WAITED … both my son and I were getting annoyed because we’d agreed to a plan of getting this over and getting on with life – and yet, for the next 20 minutes to a half-hour, they had my 5-year-old in anticipation of the pain to come – which was torturous for him.  I read him a few stories out of the book they gave us which assisted but he was struggling to remain stable.  He started to play with the ‘spinning’ trash can lid in the room, pinched his finger in it and started screaming, crying, and jumping around.  I assisted him in working through the pain with breathing and he calmed down after a few moments.

Two nurses arrived with 4 needles – one for each vaccination.  My son went into a ‘fight-or-fight’ response and started screaming, crying, reaching for his jacket, and backing himself up to the door.  I breathed.  I did not react.  I kept my voice stable and delivered the same message: Let’s get this done so that we can get on with the rest of our day and have an adventure.

After repeating this 4 or 5 times and not changing, he stopped and came over to where I was sitting on the examination table.  He got up in my lap and I wrapped my arms around him.  The nurses gave him a choice of where to have his shots – in his arms or in his legs – he chose his legs.  So, I assisted him with removing his pants and the two nurses gave him two shots in each leg.  It was painful.  It was not cool.  We breathed through the pain.

His legs ‘stung’ and he could not walk after the shots.  We waited until some of the stinging went away.  He pushed.  And eventually we got his clothes back on him and left.  Throughout the toy store, he struggled with the pain – and he breathed through each ‘wave’ of pain.  He decided to purchase a game that he could play with his dad.  We came home.  He curled up on the couch and played with his dad.

Two hours later… My son could not walk at all.  He kept breathing.  And at 12:00 AM, he was crying and moaning because he was in pain and could not get comfortable to sleep.  He would ask me to come into his room and move his body because he could not. This pain and not being able to walk lasted well into the next day.

So yeah.  I’m outraged.  Why … in 2012 are medical practitioners -still- subjecting children to this kind of pain?  And why are they giving our children MORE shots?  When my daughter was my son’s age, she would get one or two shots.  But he got 4 …

In my imagination, we ought to be giving vaccinations ‘Star Trek’-style by now where a doctor presses a metal thing to our skin, presses a button, a ‘puff’ is heard, and a pain-free administration of a drug is given.

Star Trek ‘Jet Injector’ made a reality at MIT where they invented a painless, programmable hyperspray.

But we’re not getting anywhere.  Why would we?  Truth is, we’re killing kids everyday – we don’t care.  In-fact, the way we see it is: Be grateful to have the vaccinations – you’re lucky to be getting them at all.

In an Equal Money System, all beings will be given prevention and protection from the diseases in our current environments.  Additionally, I see us investigating ways of administering disease prevention and protection that do not cause trauma or disability to our physical bodies as this is a point of real caring.  For our children, not reacting, practicing breathing, and bringing the child’s attention ‘elsewhere’ assists in the young mind not making a future character/personality and/or fear connection to ‘Shots’ – however, it does not assist us parents in establishing a relationship of trust with our children and it does not assist the child in establishing a relationship of trust with those that are supposedly ‘taking care’ of their bodies.  Further, this sort of pain at this age moves the child to DISTRUST and SEPARATE themselves from their bodies.

Pain is not cool.  And it’s really screwed up that we try to come up with justifications for pain, like, “Pain lets you know you’re alive.”

This is what we’ve come to … getting the ‘knowledge’ that we’re ‘alive’ from pain.  We do not see that the only true show of being a life is with each moment of every breath.

So. Pain it is. It’s real sad that this is what life has come to – and even more sad that we’re passing this on to our children so that they can survive in this pain. It makes less-and-less sense to me each day why, practically here, we ever allowed it to get this far.  And why do we keep bringing children into this? Really?  I mean, if they’re not getting shot at school, they’re guaranteed to get a ‘shot’ at the doctors office.  And do we really know what that needle is loaded with? Seriously, there was something nasty enough in there to disable my 5-year-old for close to 24 hours.

Again, suggest to support an Equal Money System, parents – let’s support all the children, support the research, and show, for the first time ever in history, that we can be trusted with the lives we’ve given and been given.

Let’s just get this done and get on with an adventure.