My Creation, My Responsibility – Day 18

This blog is Part 2 of self-correction and self-commitment for self-forgiveness on Day 16, I Will Take Everything Away.

Part 1, Parent’s Responsibility To Stop Enslavement – Day 17, is here.

When and as I see myself judging other parents and children that are demonstrating behavior that does not align with what and/or how I have allowed myself to think/believe/imagine the behavior should be, I stop and breath.  I realize that when I engage and/or participate in this judging behavior within myself as inner-dialogue or with others openly, that it is not best for all – no, it is best for me and my self-interest to have a better experience for/as myself by showing myself and/or others that I know what’s best and that I am the better person for it.  Within this realization, I see that it would be best, instead, for me to ‘bring the point back to myself’ and take an honest look at who I am really judging – ME – and seeing that I have demonstrated the exact same behavior that I am now required to take responsibility for and change as MYSELF.

I commit myself to stopping myself from going into judgment of other parents and children by when and as the judgments come up, stopping, breathing, slowing the point down, and instead re-directing myself to utilize the point of judgment as a point that I must take responsibility for my participation within and as – and from here, change myself as who/what I will be when in the same situation occurs again and/or emerges in my own interpersonal interactions and/or experiences.

In addition, I commit myself to question WHY I would allow myself to automatically go into judgment and comparison of myself and others over-and-over again and WHY I allowed it in the first place – how is it benefiting me to do this?  Why do I not change this when the obvious nature of this judgment is not cool and often times evil?

When and as I see myself reacting with anger, frustration, and/or impatience when and as a child is not behaving as per my expectations, I stop and I breath.  I realize that I am attempting to release an accumulation of undirected negative emotional energetic reactions and instead of taking responsibility for these accumulated emotional energies, I am projecting them onto the child – as if it’s their fault and as if they are to blame for me experiencing myself that way that I am.  When in-fact that it is me that has been reacting and me that has allowed this stuff to accumulate within me.  It has nothing to do with the child and everything to do with me – me not living up to my self-expectations to be stable and responsible human being – and because I don’t want to face the truth of myself, I instead expect the child to be stable and take responsibility for the consequences that I created.

I commit myself to stopping myself from attempting to release and/or project my accumulated anger, frustration, and impatience onto/toward a child with the excuse/justification/reason that the child is doing something that does not align with my expectations.  Within this commitment, I will first remind myself that I have done this to myself and that it is not the child’s responsibility to take on my accumulated consequence.  Secondly, I will re-direct myself to take responsibility for myself, as per my own self-expectations, my reactions of anger, frustration, and impatience by writing out my self beliefs/ideas/opinions, writing out my negative emotions, investigating why I have allowed/have not faced my emotions with self-forgiveness, and changing who I am in relation to the events that led up to my accumulated negative emotional energetic reactions with self-correction and self-commitment.

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Parent’s Responsibility To Stop Enslavement – Day 17

This blog is Part 1 of self-correction and self-commitment for self-forgiveness on Day 16, I Will Take Everything Away

When and as I see myself attempting to control a child’s behavior by any means necessary, including threatening to take away the things that the child values and/or sees as important, I stop and breath.  I realize that I am imposing my own acceptances and allowances, as a child and as a parent, on to this other child.  I realize that I am forcing the child to conform to my beliefs, imaginations, and what I have allowed to ‘make sense’ in my mind.  I also realize that I am rushing through and/or taking the easy way out of a situation that requires my attention and parental direction.

I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to attempt to control a child’s behavior with threatening to take away the things that the child values and/or sees as important by instead breathing, not allowing myself to go into an energetic reaction, and directing the child to also breath, to understand the behavior and how the behavior may not be best, to work out solutions together that benefit everyone, come to an agreement on a solution, and then implement this solution.

When and as I see myself showing a child how to make a relationship connection to an object so that object becomes a source of comfort and happiness for the child, I stop.  I see, realize, and understand that it is best to not encourage a child to create a relationship connection to an object – and it’s certainly not best to teach a child that something outside of themselves will make them happy and comforted.  What is best, however, is to teach a child to not require anything outside of themselves for happiness and comfort – and in doing so, I will teach the child self-support and assist them to not be influenced emotionally when/as/if there is a threat that the child’s objects will be taken away, the object breaks, or the object is worn out and unusable.

I commit myself to showing children that an object is simply an object that is here to be utilized for a specific purpose – if it’s a toy we play with it, if it’s a TV we watch it, if it’s a book we read it, if it’s a chair we sit in it, if it’s a cup we drink from it.  Within this, I commit myself to stand as an example by not reacting when an object I use is removed, breaks, and/or is worn-out/unusable – where, I breath and work out a plan to replace the object.

When and as I see myself considering acting in a way that would deliberately deprive a child of something that they value, I stop, I breath, and I do not go there.  Instead, I allow myself to use my imagination to place myself in the shoes of the child and ask myself: How do I experience myself when and as someone acts in a way that deliberately deprives me of something that I have placed value, is supportive for me and/or is something that I simply enjoy having?  As an adult, what do I see when myself or another is deliberately controlled by deprivation?

I commit myself to stop deliberately depriving children of something they value as to control the child by reminding myself that this enslaves a child and the product of this is a child that accepts enslavement and will grow into an adult that will be enslaved, enslaves others, and teaches their children how to enslave.

How To Stop Parental Guilt – Day 10

Here continuing with Self-Correction and Self-Commitment Statements from How To Prevent Myself From Getting Angry At My Child – Day 8 and How To Stop Beating Up On Myself – Day 9

See How Do I Control My Anger? – Day 1 for the Writing Myself Out part of this point and Why Do I Get So Irritated? – Day 2 through War Within War Without – Day 7 for my Self-Forgiveness process.

When and as I see that I am judging as an irresponsible, unworthy, and the worst possible person because I did not consider the consequences of bringing another child into this world, I stop. Instead of participating in these thoughts, I assist and support myself to release myself from such judgments with self-forgiveness so that I no longer place myself in this continuous cycle of guilt, remorse, and self-pity and thus can really investigate and apply ways to be a responsible, worthy, and best parent possible.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to tell myself that ‘I screwed up’ and other nastiness about myself having a child before I was able to get myself stable by reminding myself that I cannot change the consequence of my decisions, including having children, and within this, no longer accept and allow myself to get caught up in this where I instead look at, test, and practice ways to best take care of a child, a family, and myself.

When and as I see that I am fearing raising, teaching, programming a child to be violent, abusive, and a bully, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that fearing raising, teaching, programming a child to be violent, abusive and a bully has changed nothing – this fear has not stopped me from doing any of this as I have directly taught them that being violent, abusive, and a bully is okay. Instead of allowing myself to participate in and be directed by this one fear in a given moment, I stop, remind myself that this fear exists only in my mind, self-forgive myself for the points that come up, and walk the correction.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my fear of how I could negatively raise, teach, and or program a child to be and within this, no longer accepting and allowing this fear to direct my decisions about what is best for a child, a family, the world, and a child’s future participation in the world. When and as these fears that I will turn a child violent, abusive, and/or a bully emerge, I assist and support myself with self-forgiveness and then look at, investigate, and/or get support for ways to prevent the child from the abusive living that I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as myself, my relationships, and my world. Additionally, I remind myself that as I change to no longer accepting and allowing abuse that I will assist and support the child to do the same. It’s a win-win.

When and as I see that I’m attempting to pretend to ignore a child or anyone else when they ‘act out’, I breath and bring myself back to here where I am present and here for support if needed. I see, realize, and understand that ignoring the problem/behavior leads to and/or places me in an experience of lost-ness, hopelessness, and not pushing myself to figure out solutions and ways to support a child that are best.

I commit myself to no longer ignore and/or pretend to ignore what it is that I want to ‘go away’ by allowing myself to face it – even though what I’m seeing is ‘bad’ and by my mind interpretation, should not be. This applies to how I handle a child’s ‘bad/non-acceptable behavior’ in that I no longer accept and allow myself to ignore and/or pretend to ignore what I see as ‘bad/non-acceptable behavior’ within the hope that it will ‘go away’. I remind myself that I must see and understand the problem, the bad, the non-acceptable if/when/as I am able to come up with workable solutions so that problems, the bad, and the non-acceptable no longer continue to persist.

Within this, I commit myself to investigating what I’m seeing as bad, removing the reactions with the tools of writing and self-forgiveness, and testing/practicing solutions for what I find is best to no longer exist.

How To Stop Beating Up On Myself – Day 9

This post continues Self-Correction and Self-Commitment statements from How To Prevent Myself From Getting Angry At My Child – Day 8.

See How Do I Control My Anger? – Day 1 for the Writing Myself Out part of this point and Why Do I Get So Irritated? – Day 2 through War Within War Without – Day 7 for my Self-Forgiveness process.

When and as I see that I am at that point where I want to make the event/situation stop by reacting and/or releasing my anger, I stop. I see, realize, and understand that all that I am required to do is be here and hear – I do not have to participate.

When and as I see/hear myself showing/telling myself that I am a Bad Parent and/or when, as a result of this, I experience guilt, remorse, and/or sadness, I remind myself that this is not me – that what/who I am showing myself that I am is in direct conflict with who I want to be and to accept and allow myself to participate in the Thoughts gets me caught up and at the mercy of my mind instead of working on practical solutions to become the parent that is best and that I want myself to be. When and as the Thought comes up ‘I am a bad parent because …’, I assist and support myself to release myself from this conflicting information about myself with self-forgiveness and then work on becoming the parent that is more aligned with myself with practical self-correction and then making the decision to walk my correction. Additionally, I see within this that I must pay particular attention the judgments/perceptions/beliefs/and backchat that come up.

I commit myself to stopping my acceptance and allowance of self-judgment, guilt, remorse, sadness, and telling myself the nasty things that I do like ‘I am a Bad Parent that does not deserve children’ by assisting and supporting myself to remove the nastiness and the emotions from myself with writing and self-forgiveness and to investigate, look at, and test out ways that will make me the best parent and human being that I can be.

When and as I hear myself considering allowing myself to be used as a physical ‘punching bag’, I stop. I see, realize and understand that if I allow my child to hit/physically hurt me that I am teaching them that hitting/being hit is ‘okay’. I remind myself of the consequences of allowing abuse of any kind and within this, I no longer accept nor allow myself to offer myself physically to my child or anyone else to let out anger, beat me, hit me, ‘get it all out’, and/or as a punching bag.

I commit myself to no longer allow my child or anyone else to physically ‘let out his anger’ on me. I remind myself that this is how I in-fact teach/show that it’s ‘okay’ to be physically abusive. So, I stop. From here – no more.